I took my son to get shoes at Sketchers for two reasons: convenience and affordability. I couldn’t be bothered to drive past the intersection for better shoe-selling establishments and my son couldn’t be bothered to stop swiss-cheesing his shoes every two months. This is what he gets.
Entering this store, I had never owned a pair of Sketchers. I never thought they were hip. And I exude hipness.
Growing up, I never owned more than one pair of day-to-day shoes at a time. I would sport a pair of Nikes for a year or two and move on to the next one. I have no basis as to why this was.
Now I’m an adult. Now I have specialized needs. Now society expects multitudes out of me.
So while my son is running amok in the Sketchers store, I saw some slip-ons. Convenient. Affordable. Thanks to working from home most of the week, I’ve been dropping the kids off at school/daycare with my shoes untied. I achieved the look of a dad who rolled out of bed to perform the bare minimum proper parenting would allow. The shoes I saw before me would solve all that.
I tried on the slip-ons and went Wide Fit, size 9. I’m normally size 9.5, but you have to compensate for the repercussions of Wide Fit. Side note: I’m footwear conscious. I need shoes that allows my foot to be the shape of a foot as opposed to a shoe. This is why you don’t see me in heels.
Unhipness revealed itself as Prince Charming with a glass slipper. And I, Cinderella looking for a happily ever after.
Happily
As functional as the Sketchers were, they were not how I wanted to be perceived.
This was made apparent after taking my son to a couple birthday parties. Dads flaunted their mid-life crises in the shape of dazzling Jordans, chill Vans and the like. I made the mistake of wearing my Sketchers outside of morning drop off, announcing I had given up all effort of esteem. If I was to gain respect in this new circle of dads, I needed an upgrade.
I waited for Black Friday and hit up Nike.com.
I searched the bowels of the site for two affordable pairs, unlike any I have owned before. One was a deep red+grey I dub “Shanghai Reds” and a white+black training shoe I dub “Sky Whites.” A better writer would share a photo, but I will not submit myself to more judgement.
Sometimes parents have a feeling when they have a child and think “Our family is now complete.” Shanghai and Sky completed us.
Ever
I recently had to make some reductions in wardrobe. As a consequence, I faced truths for which I was not ready.
I have accumulated many shoes over the years. But I justified them, so even losing one pair would come at a severe cost.
I have shoes for the following functions:
- Everyday hip (Shanghai/Sky)
- Comfy casual (3)
- Dress-up (3)
- Slip-on
- House slipper
- Running
- Hiking
- Trail running
- Mowing
- Water
- Work-out
- Anti-fungus gym shower
Where do I trim? I can’t even justify losing that one pair of Sketchers.
I don’t want it to be this way. But I have proper storage and can dress for any occasion.
There is no purpose for this section. I’m not asking for advice. I’m at where I’m at and I’m OK with that.
It’s all just a set up for the punchline.
After
Galvanized by footwear diversity, I walk anywhere with swagger. Cast your eyes down, revel in my classy coordination.
I have worked on upgrading my image from the bottom up. It’s not what you wear, it’s how you wear it. Hipness, return hither. Exude from my essence.
On a cool fall day, I was wearing a pair of my comfy casuals on the elevators at my place of employment. Tommy Hilfiger, but no one’s asking. A gentleman I’ve never spoken looks down at my hip kicks.
“I love those shoes,” he said. “Are they Sketchers?”