I took my son to get shoes at Sketchers for two reasons: convenience and affordability. I couldn’t be bothered to drive past the intersection for better shoe-selling establishments and my son couldn’t be bothered to stop swiss-cheesing his shoes every two months. This is what he gets.
Entering this store, I had never owned a pair of Sketchers. I never thought they were hip. And I exude hipness.
Growing up, I never owned more than one pair of day-to-day shoes at a time. I would sport a pair of Nikes for a year or two and move on to the next one. I have no basis as to why this was.
Now I’m an adult. Now I have specialized needs. Now society expects multitudes out of me.
So while my son is running amok in the Sketchers store, I saw some slip-ons. Convenient. Affordable. Thanks to working from home most of the week, I’ve been dropping the kids off at school/daycare with my shoes untied. I achieved the look of a dad who rolled out of bed to perform the bare minimum proper parenting would allow. The shoes I saw before me would solve all that.
I tried on the slip-ons and went Wide Fit, size 9. I’m normally size 9.5, but you have to compensate for the repercussions of Wide Fit. Side note: I’m footwear conscious. I need shoes that allows my foot to be the shape of a foot as opposed to a shoe. This is why you don’t see me in heels.
Unhipness revealed itself as Prince Charming with a glass slipper. And I, Cinderella looking for a happily ever after.
Happily
As functional as the Sketchers were, they were not how I wanted to be perceived.
This was made apparent after taking my son to a couple birthday parties. Dads flaunted their mid-life crises in the shape of dazzling Jordans, chill Vans and the like. I made the mistake of wearing my Sketchers outside of morning drop off, announcing I had given up all effort of esteem. If I was to gain respect in this new circle of dads, I needed an upgrade.
I waited for Black Friday and hit up Nike.com.
I searched the bowels of the site for two affordable pairs, unlike any I have owned before. One was a deep red+grey I dub “Shanghai Reds” and a white+black training shoe I dub “Sky Whites.” A better writer would share a photo, but I will not submit myself to more judgement.
Sometimes parents have a feeling when they have a child and think “Our family is now complete.” Shanghai and Sky completed us.
Ever
I recently had to make some reductions in wardrobe. As a consequence, I faced truths for which I was not ready.
I have accumulated many shoes over the years. But I justified them, so even losing one pair would come at a severe cost.
I have shoes for the following functions:
- Everyday hip (Shanghai/Sky)
- Comfy casual (3)
- Dress-up (3)
- Slip-on
- House slipper
- Running
- Hiking
- Trail running
- Mowing
- Water
- Work-out
- Anti-fungus gym shower
Where do I trim? I can’t even justify losing that one pair of Sketchers.
I don’t want it to be this way. But I have proper storage and can dress for any occasion.
There is no purpose for this section. I’m not asking for advice. I am at where I am at and I’m OK with that.
It’s all just a set up for the punchline.
After
Galvanized by footwear diversity, I walk anywhere with swagger. Cast your eyes down, revel in my classy coordination.
I have worked on upgrading my image from the bottom up. It’s not what you wear, it’s how you wear it. Hipness, return hither. Exude from my essence.
On a cool fall day, I was wearing a pair of my comfy casuals on the elevators at my place of employment. Tommy Hilfiger, but no one’s asking. A gentleman I’ve never spoken looks down at my hip kicks.
“I love those shoes,” he said. “Are they Sketchers?”